Tag Archives: Grief

Support Your Loved One During Their Grief

When we learn that our friends or families have lost someone close to them, sometimes we don’t know how to console them. During those times when you don’t have the words to say, your actions can speak volumes. Being supportive of them not only means listening when they want to talk about their feelings, but also finding ways to help them get on with their lives.

Encourage your loved one to keep a journal of their feelings. Writing helps a number of people release emotional stress that they can’t seem to express any other way. The journal doesn’t have to be written in any particular fashion, it just has to be an honest account of their emotions and feelings at the time. If they are hesitant about trying this, offer to keep a journal with them. This way, it will feel as if you are sharing the journey.

A lot of people don’t see it this way, but losing someone can be a new beginning. If your friend or family member can’t seem to function without their lost one, try to get them to do something different for themselves that they’ve never done before. This could be something as simple as trying a new hairstyle, or preparing a new dish. The idea is to get them to engage in something that they’re lost one did not have the opportunity to see. This will give them the feeling that they can move on with life, and that there are other exciting things to look forward to.

Another way to support your family or friends during their loss is to compliment them on the things that they have accomplished on their own. Remind them that they are their own individuals, and that their lost ones accentuated their qualities, but did not create them. By doing this, you will see them begin to regain confidence in their own abilities.

The most important thing you can do is listen. Listen to your loved one when they tell you how much they are hurting or why they feel that way. This is a very important step in the healing process. Having someone to talk to and someone that understands their pain will help your loved one heal. Give them the opportunity to express themselves whenever possible.

Grief can be overwhelming, but with the support of friends and family, healing is only a matter of time.

Renee Wood founded The Comfort Company in 2000. She is a social worker that has helped families deal with the loss or pending loss of a child, as well as aiding patients in the end-stage of renal failure. The gifts provided by The Comfort Company offer sympathy messages as well as hope for healing hearts.

The Feelings Associated with Grief Are Normal

For many people, the thought of losing a loved one is inconceivable. We hear about death every day through some form of media; a car crash, a long fight with cancer, a heinous crime. While we understand that these things happen, we could never see them happening to ourselves, let alone the people we hold near and dear.

People have different ways of dealing with grief. Some of them internalize their feelings, while others prefer a more outward expression. In many cases, people turn to professionals to help them figure out how to deal with their emotions. Feelings of shock, anger and disbelief are typical, but some people feel absolutely nothing. This numbness can bring on thoughts of guilt, with the person convincing themselves that they are wrong for not caring. It is not uncommon to feel numb when faced with a tragedy.

Each person grieves differently, and it’s important to understand that the process is natural and that healing takes place over time. For some, it could take a few weeks, while others grieve for months or years. No one can tell you how to grieve, as there is no right or wrong way. Loved ones should comfort each other and express their feelings as much as possible during this period. Emotional pain is easier to cope with when there is a support system of family and friends to reach out to.

There are other circumstances besides death that may also bring on feelings of grief, like divorce and losing a job. Oftentimes, the feeling of loss in these situations can be just as, if not more intense than losing someone to death.

There are times when grief can lead to clinical depression. Family and friends should keep a close eye on each other to look for signs that the grief may be heading in another direction. Some of these signs include feelings of hopelessness, the inability to function properly at school, home or work, or thoughts of suicide. Also, people who are clinically depressed often withdraw from their family and friends. If this type of behavior is observed, immediate action should be taken to avoid yet another loss.

At some point in life, everyone will experience grief. It is essential to express your feelings during that period and surround yourself with people that will lend their support. Doing this greatly decreases the chance of grief leading to depression.

Renee Wood founded The Comfort Company in 2000. She is a social worker that has helped families deal with the loss or pending loss of a child, as well as aiding patients in the end-stage of renal failure. The gifts provided by The Comfort Company offer sympathy messages as well as hope for healing hearts.

Grief Therapy and Counseling explained

Grief therapy or counseling is an important help for people suffering from intense grief and depression due to the death of a loved one. Coping with the loss of a loved one can be an extremely traumatic process resulting in mental disruption and related problems. It is a long and arduous process that often calls for grief counseling and therapy sessions for the mental and emotional support required to cope with the changes that the sudden death has brought to a griever’s lives. Those mourning from grief can easily find help in the form of grief therapy or counseling sessions from various resources. However, it is suggested to know about the problem well before looking for additional support.

Types of Grief

It is a universal Human experience that everyone around the world goes through, yet it remains a mystery and difficult-to-explain topic. In simple words, it can be defined as the mental, emotional, spiritual and physical process that people undergo after a loss. It has been broadly divided into two categories namely normal and abnormal grief. Normal grief can be explained as the experience that usually happens due to the expected death of a loved one. On the other hand, abnormal grief results out of a sudden or violent loss. It is a complicated situation that can also result in clinical depression and related symptoms.

Therapy and Counseling

Both the types of grief call for intense emotional and mental support. However, help and support from friends and family can help the sufferer to get over normal grief, whereas those suffering from abnormal grief often require professional grief therapy or counseling sessions. Professional therapy sessions are conducted by licensed psychiatrists with advance degrees in Human Psychology, Social Work, Medicine and related fields. The goal of the therapist is to help the griever accept the loss and process the pain in a healthier way without enduring any mental or physical side effects. During the grief therapy sessions, the griever is encouraged to speak about the loss and motivated to adopt healing techniques like art or music therapy, reading therapy (bibliotherapy) and writing therapy.

Where to find therapy?

In case you require help from professional grief therapist , you can approach your family doctor or local clergy for recommendations. You can also search the yellow pages or Psychological Association directories for locating New Jersey, Pittsburg, Los Angeles, New York City or San Diego therapists offering grief therapy and counseling sessions around your city. The easiest way to locate a therapist in your vicinity – like all those San Francisco Therapists practicing in the region, online therapy directories are the best.

Ryan FitzGerald is the Co-Founder of WebTribes Inc. The support communities are for people affected by Depression, Addiction, OCD and HIV/Aids. Browse Therapy Tribe to Find a Therapist , Find Family Therapy ,find Grief Counselor, Depression Therapy.

Loss And Grief – Understanding Its Nature

In one moment all that we tend to hold pricey and cherish is shattered, never to be the same. We are left floundering during a pit of uncertainty. We have a tendency to drown as wave after wave of unknown and unexpected emotions wash over us. In that moment, we have a tendency to cannot see the trail forward, there’s no light shining for us that guides us through this. We have a tendency to must rely on ourselves and we are woefully unequipped.

Queries of an immense nature begin to create in our mind and we are at a loss at how to answer them. We tend to query ourselves and the very essence of who we have a tendency to are. Layer upon layer of false assumptions are stripped to the bone. We have a tendency to are concerned with how we have a tendency to feel and regarding how our world is shattered. Yet we can only move forward and never go back. However do we rise from the ashes of our loss sort of a phoenix, beginning a brand new and stronger life that shines brighter than before? Or do we tend to stay within the ashes, desperately sifting through them in an attempt to regain a hold upon our previous life?

We tend to might all expertise similar emotions that make a bond between us. If we have a tendency to think regarding our own expertise of loss, it might have started with a state of numbness, disbelief and maybe even shock. We doubted what we tend to had heard and kept expecting somebody to come back and tell it had been all a sick joke. Our minds required an instant to accept the news, whether or not this was a second, hour, day or more. This sense gradually wore off to go away us with a hollow sense that it wasn’t a joke and the tough understanding that everything had modified in one instant and we had to play catch up to this. Life as we have a tendency to knew it had been over.

Despite experiencing similar emotions, our journeys through loss are unique. It is a journey of unknown time, unknown emotions and unknown experiences for us all. There is nobody method or one emotion that we have a tendency to all need to experience. Loss could be a very personal thing. There is no wrong or right manner to expertise it, there is simply the experience. Accepting this will free us; enable us to do things our method, to trust that we have a tendency to grasp what’s best for ourselves. It can transform loss into an exhilarating but scary journey as we explore elements of ourselves that we have a tendency to never knew, despite living with them for years.

The intense emotions that loss stirs within us don’t destroy unless we have a tendency to let them. We do possess the power to continue on. However what’s recovering? Is it classed as only learning to survive our loss? Or is recovering using our loss to remodel our lives into one thing additional, something that we have a tendency to have invariably dreamed it of being?

Dorothy Frank has been writing articles online for nearly 2 years now. Not only does this author specialize in Grief Loss ,you can also check out her latest website about:
Toro Snow Blowers Which reviews and lists the best

A Way To Facilitate Someone In Grief

When someone shut to you loses a loved one, it will usually be a confusing time for you. But, supporting somebody in their time of grief is very important and useful to both you and the one that has suffered a loss.

Most significantly, be sure to listen. Expect that the person in grief will repeat one or several stories many times in the beginning. Do your best to reserve judgment, especially in the case of anger or hostility towards the deceased. Now isn’t the time to correct someone on their emotions and thoughts.

If you knew the one that passed on to the great beyond, be sure to share recollections that you just had with them as well. Attempt to keep what you say positive and happy, therefore as not to evoke harsh reactions from the person you are comforting. Do not attempt and outdo anyone who you are comforting. Phrases like, “I recognize what you mean”, and “That jogs my memory of when s/he did that with me, too” can be alienating and cold. Try to stay as neutral as doable, particularly if the deceased was not someone you knew well or intimately. Conjointly, do not comfort the grieving with hints about “it taking time”, as that can appear daunting and like a burden. Keep in mind, everybody recovers at their own pace, and there is no amount of time that exceeds the limit of mourning.
Depending on how close somebody was to the deceased, it could take years of grieving, and presumably even a lifetime. There are a number of points in time when somebody might seem back on the right track, or in a very continuously positive place, only to be reminded of something that relates to their loved one. This can be not a bad sign, and should not be taken as one.

Many individuals find comfort in the celebration of their loved ones life. A family get together where the person is remembered or discussed can facilitate, as will making a scrapbook, a movie, or a song compilation. Permit the grieving to recollect their loved one in as several ways as doable– it’s the best methodology for moving on without isolating themselves from the person they need lost.

Higher than all, be extraordinarily cautious of the griever’s behavior, and do your best to act accordingly if you notice any questionable signs. Threats and thoughts of suicide or self-deprecation, intent to hurt others, or complete isolation are all signifiers that the person desires more facilitate beyond support and love. Do not assume that such thoughts are a natural process when grieving. Whereas they may not return as a surprise, it is risky and immoral to permit anything like that to happen if you see it. Contact their immediate family, with a skilled doctor if you notice any signs of utmost behavior.

Bobby Kenny has been writing articles online for nearly 2 years now. Not only does this author specialize in Grief Loss ,you can also check out his latest website about:
White Electric Fireplace Which reviews and lists the best

Dealing With the Grief of Autism

I am learning to cope with grief. It is not the normal sort of grief that we all tend to associate with the loss of a loved one. Though similar, it is grief from the perception of shattered dreams and hopes.

While I have never been directly affected by cataclysmic events, such as natural disasters or wars, I suspect the feeling of grief is the same. That is, people are faced with a seemingly hopeless situation which is beyond their control. I believe the process of recovery can be very difficult in these situations.

In my case, it is parenting an autistic child. I love my son, David, very much. I try to focus on the positives, but sometimes I am overwhelmed by the enormity of the task before me.

There is also guilt associated with my feelings of loss. That is, David is a wonderful child that deserves his fair share of my time and devotion. Because of his limitations, my efforts are devoted to aspects of his development that are not typical. That is, my strength and energies are devoted to finding specific ways around his disabilities rather than playing ordinary games and engaging in other age appropriate activities.

I also struggle with my environment. I know it may sound like I am whining. Perhaps I am whining, but our society is not built around our specific needs. I happen to be among those who believe that society cannot be built around every possible circumstance. I believe it is my duty to learn to cope with society rather than have society cope with me. As a parent of an autistic son, I believe I must find my own way through the fog. On occasion, I find comfort from kind words and understanding. Unfortunately, I sometimes find the misguided perceptions of others to be extremely hurtful.

After reading Dr. Charles Stanley’s book, “How to Cope with Adversity”, I am starting to see how I have responded negatively to adversity. He asserts that we can respond in two ways, positively or negatively. While I have found positives, I have also failed in some ways. I am learning to see the failures.

I suppose I agree with Dr. Stanley that adversity can be a gift, albeit not an easy gift to receive. By the way, I recommend this book to all parents of special needs children.

While wallowing in my pain, suffering and disappointment, I have not grown as a human being. I am now trying to recognize this adversity for what it is. I believe it is grief. Perhaps it is odd to say, but I suppose I am lucky to have experienced a similar grief in my life already. My mother suffered from hardening of the arteries which resulted in dementia. When she died, I felt very sad, but the grieving process had been in place for many years. I began grieving the loss of my mother when she began to show signs of severe mental deterioration.

Though similar, David’s story has hope. I see improvements as he gets older. In some ways, the grief has been for no good reason. That is, I have yet to see the full potential of this child. I will always have hope for him. But sadly, this is only part of the grieving process.

There is another form of grief that is very selfish. It is the loss of my own freedom. I am starting to realize that some of my grief has been manifested in my behavior towards others, which has made it even more difficult to cope. For example, some folks may not realize that having a special needs child can be extraordinarily confining. That is, parents and caregivers cannot simply take their children with them everywhere they go and we cannot just let them go outside to play. It is a process of learning to deal with the outside world, so it is limited. In our case, we struggle to do ordinary activities such as going to the store or to a restaurant. We have worked very hard to make these activities possible, but we usually go to places where the people know us and make some exception for certain eccentricities. Going to other otherwise normal places has been extraordinarily difficult for us. That is, we remain intensely aware of how our presence can affect those around us. Therefore, most of our recreational activities are through special needs organizations.

There are other elements of our lives that are affected. For example, because of the nature of David’s behaviors, I stay at home to help manage his care. While I am David’s father, I am starting to understand the concept of sacrificing my career, a concept that most mothers understand very well. I suppose that we are very fortunate that my wife has been successful in her career. I still feel the occasional sting from the comments of some folks who really have no idea. I am learning to accept and forgive the misunderstandings of those around me. However, I do have a full time job and it is to help my family. Nonetheless, I have my own misunderstandings about the world around me so I have no right to force my particular set of unusual circumstances into the sphere of ordinary perception.

There are many other ways in which we are negatively impacted, but I will go no further than to say that we need to move beyond heartbreak and find the positives in life.

Like many other parents of special needs kids, I am learning about David’s condition and the treatments that are available. I am learning to become an advocate for my son and to find whatever resources that may be available to him. This is another topic for another day, as it has not always been easy for me to accept outside resources. I have worked from home to create a small music publishing business that has become a source of great joy for me, integrating my passion for music with some of my professional skills. I am grateful for the potential opportunities that I am able to see from this new perspective that is adversity.

Meanwhile, I am struggling to find my way back. I am trying to accept this hand that we have been dealt though I have become extraordinarily sensitive to certain misunderstandings among those with whom I come into contact. It is most certainly my problem, not theirs. It is a process of learning to cope with the natural order of society and norms while living in a vacuum that is not part of the natural order. I suppose I am learning to live in two realities. The reality of human perception and the reality that I live every day.

Article written by Del Boland and distributed by permission of Del Boland and Blue Muse Publishing, a free online resource for songwriters, bands, and musicians.

How to Deal With Everyday Life Grief

What comes to your mind when you think of the word grief? Most people think of death. Even if you Google it, the listings that come up are related to the emotional response that surfaces from the death of a love one. There is very good information and help out there related to that topic. So the purpose of this article is to talk about the silent discounted grief that is part of our daily life but we don’t even know is there for the most part. Believe it or not we all grief since we are born and our emotional health depends on grant part on the mastering of this process. We all hear the word grief here and there but even people who are in the midst of the process don’t know what the word grief means or what the process really involves. The English word comes from the Old French grève, meaning a heavy burden. This makes sense when you consider that grief often weighs you down with sorrow and other emotions that can have both psychological and physical consequences.

There are many unconventional situations that produce grief reactions and most of them are just part of being alive. Judy Viorst in her book “Necessary Losses: The Loves, Illusions, Dependencies, and Impossible Expectations That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Grow” talks about most of them in great depth. She mentions how since the moment that we leave our mom’s wound we experience our first loss which is necessary to being alive. Why? Because loss is not a one-dimensional process. When we loose we also win but sometimes the pain from the loss might blind us from seeing the winning aspect of it.

Everyday we confront different and many type of losses – loss of independence, loss of a loved one, break ups and divorces, loss of security when we move to a new place or loose a job, disappointments, pervasive loss of one’s personal sense of well being and adequacy. . . so forth and so on. Even each positive stage of life carries on a loss, going to college, getting married, having a baby, retiring…just to mention a few. So if we can look at grief, sometimes, in a different way, as an essential part of living and growing, we could start understanding and accepting grief as a normal part of life. Here some tips to help you cope with it:

• Like with any sad or uncomfortable feeling or part of life, our reaction might be to try to run away from it. With grief the same happens. Contrary to what we do, it is important to understand that it is better if we welcome and try to go through it. “Easier said than done,” you might be thinking but you just can’t go around it. Grief is a process and you have to move through it to come across the other side.

• Be careful with judgment and allow all your feelings to come up. Since judgment is part of being humans we tend to classify feelings as good and bad. While grieving something or someone, try to stay away as much as you can from judging what you feel. Just feel it.

• Be patient and give yourself time. When there is a change it takes sometime for our internal worlds to adjust to a new reality. Grief requires adjustment and is a healing process. Notice the word process, which means takes time. Even though it doesn’t feel good, it is invaluable for the redefinition of our core self.

• Allow yourself to have fun. Sometimes because something bad happened we don’t allow ourselves to have some joyful moments. Why? Because we tell ourselves that might mean that we don’t care or that we are bad people. Judgment again! Well, let me tell you that the human nature has the amazing capacity to tolerate or do more than one thing at the same time. So you can be grieving and can fun at the same time.

• Surround yourself of familiar things and faces. A change increases uncertainty and vulnerability so the more you can be around routine and all time friends and family members the better.

• Tolerate the discomfort and hang in there. Try to do it without resorting to substances or unhealthy behaviors. Knowing your coping style when under stress might help you to know what to do while grieving. Easy recipe to follow: do exactly the opposite. Eg. If you tend to eat, try to exercise; if you tend to isolate, call a friend, if you try to overdo things, try to relax etc.

• Do not compare yourself to others. This is an easy trap. Because we know other people that went through a similar situation we push ourselves to heal as other did. Celebrate your uniqueness and allow yourself to have your own process.

• Keep in mind that grief is about remembering while attaching to something new. It is not about forgetting the past but it is about finding a way to keep people, places or experiences as part of who we are but being able to look into what the new horizons offer to us and see the beauty of it.

• Ask for help if necessary. If things get out of hand, the pain becomes intolerable for too long or adjustment doesn’t happen, do not hesitate to ask for professional help. Sometimes friends and family mean well but they don’t really give you the best advice.

As Karen O. Johnson MEd, founder & CEO of Everyday Life Grief Consulting says: “Life is made up of loss and it needs to be accepted and addressed to survive it in a healthy manner. Transforming the shattered dreams of grief can be a painful, but illuminating experience.” And remember that there is not a typical response to loss, as there is no typical loss (regardless of its nature). Our grieving is as individual as our lives.

Article Source: http://ezineseeker.com/?expert=Isabel_Kirk

Grief and Loss – An Overview

Grief and loss are typically associated with death and dying, usually involving the loss of a loved one. But the category can also encompass loss of job, home or relationship as additional dimensions of experience. Grief resources and recovery programs are subsumed under this umbrella and are usually designed to help us with all aspects of loss.

Losing a loved one is what we typically associate with grief and loss. But losses of many types can also generate powerful grief reactions. We include here broken relationships, loss of a pet and loss of employment. When the loss experience strikes we immediately want relief and begin seeking some kind of recovery help.

Today we can see grief and loss associated with divorce, relationship breakup, pet grief and loss of employment. We can also see associations with the loss of ones home, place of business and career aspirations as some hopes and dreams never materialize. We tend not to see these as grief and loss categories, but in fact they are losses that affect us in similar ways as losing a loved one.

This article aims to point out the many common denominators grief and loss reveals over all of the above related dimensions. We grief our loved ones.  We mourn the loss of the family pet. We suffer over a recent breakup. We fall into depression over the loss of our job or business.

Whats at stake here? What is at the heart of the grief and loss experience? It is an emotional crisis characterized by deep feelings of hurt that are often masked with anger. We are feeling lost and afraid. Something precious has been taken away.  We are hurting, depressed and anxious. All of these reactions are typically associated with every category of grief and loss.

It becomes obvious that grief and loss affects many aspects of our life experience. Acknowledging this and accepting responsibility for our recovery from such stress reveals itself as necessary. We can regain our energy and drive by working through the effects of grief and loss. Since the experience is more common than previously thought, any effort we make to deal with grief and loss will have benefits across the breadth of our lives.

The cycle of life includes gaining, losing and gaining again. For example, when a snake crawls into the tall grass to shed its old skin, it’s because the new is emerging from underneath and pressing for release. Losses are typically categorized as devastating when, in fact, they are often a prelude to something better. Learning to let go, no matter what the circumstances is a valuable life lesson.

Losing a loved one is a powerful and devastating experience and one we never solicit consciously. This is the most difficult of all losses and we acknowledge that it is hard to see any benefit in it. But losing and gaining are with us everyday in a great variety of forms. Learning to cope with all types of loss will help us when the big losses strike. Finding the right resources is essential to managing our grief and loss experience.

Dealing with grief and loss requires that we face our emotions and work through them. Acquiring a good resource, turning toward family and friends and sharing our sorrow can lead to new and deeper relationships. There are secret benefits to all of life’s trials, even though it make take years to see them. The main lesson from grief and loss is that something awaits us on the other side of the experience.

Maurice Turmel PhD is a veteran grief and loss therapist with 25 years experience. He is the author of “How to Cope with Grief and Loss” audio ebook that has helped numerous individuals with their grief and loss recovery.

Aspects of Grief – HOPE

Hope moves us forward. Hopelessness is paralyzing.

Hope is defined as a belief in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in one’s life. When our life has been irreversibly changed by the death of someone very dear to us, feeling hopeless about our future is a natural response. We cannot see any positive outcome from this devastating loss. We may feel we have nothing left to live for. Many of our previous plans and goals seem hopeless or irrelevant. It is important that our hope is restored so that we can move forward in our lives. It is important that we find new purpose in our lives.

How can we find hope amidst our suffering?

When we experience intense suffering we gain an awareness of a whole new aspect of life and the world around us. We begin to realize that there are many people in this world who are suffering. We may discover that a coworker lost a young child to cancer several years ago. Or the school music teacher was widowed recently. Or the woman at the end of the street, who never smiles or waves at us, cares for a severely disabled son.

Life stories were swirling around us unnoticed as we focused on our own busy life. We now see that many people have a “story” and we are not so quick to judge those who suffer misfortune. We see them in a new light and, more importantly, we are getting an inkling of caring about their story and their misfortune. Even in the throes of our own problems.

Our own pain seems impossible to get through. Yet, somehow, we manage to get to the end of each day. Some days are challenging, some days we can barely endure. Still, bit by bit, we are surviving a situation that we never believed we could survive. We are developing endurance. We dig deep to find courage and fortitude within ourselves.

And in our struggle we are compelled to reflect on what is really important in our lives. We may place more value on our relationships, our faith, or what our imprint on the world can be. Our “things” may have less meaning.

As a result, our character is strengthened. Something beneficial has occurred in the aftermath of this hardship. Just possibly, we have become a better person. What a lasting tribute to our precious loved one! We have created a positive outcome from a difficult event. We have created hope.

Article Source: http://ezineseeker.com/?expert=Mary_Zemites

Putting Grief in It’s Place

It has been just 8 short weeks since my husband died of Kidney Cancer. Between the weeks of his advanced illness and the weeks since his death, I have taken a great deal of time to look within myself to determine who I am.

When a spouse dies, you suddenly find yourself as a “non couple”. All of your friends and most of your acquaintances are married and live a couple life. My husband and I were very active as a “couple”. We quit our jobs almost 5 years ago so we could be together. And together, we were. We did everything together. We traveled, played golf, fished, shopped and just walked on the beach nearly every day.

Suddenly, I find myself with no one to even go shopping with. I am suddenly myself as a “non-couple”. An individual with time on my hands and no one to share it with. Beyond the fact that the grief is sometimes overwhelming, the constant pain of loss, the constant reminders of the life you once had, there is another kind of loss very few people talk about.

It is an overwhelming reality that you now have to do things alone you once did as a couple. And for me, where I choose to live, my family is hundreds of miles away and most of our friends are seasonal in this resort community. They will come and go and there are times when no one is around to even visit or drop in on. But it is where I choose to live. A beautiful little island in the Southern Outer Banks of North Carolina. AND! Just because I am no longer a couple, it is still where I choose to be. And since I choose to be here, I must make it MY home.

One thing I am learning to come to grips with is; I must find a place for me where I can thrive and continue to be an effective and productive person. As a business owner, my business does require a couple hours of my time each day and I find it is too easy to simply bury myself in work. But that will never help me to deal with the grief.

In my business community, there are many highly successful mentors available for guidance. While talking with one of my mentors earlier, she said something that opened a huge door of awareness for me. She said “When you are making major changes in who you are and how you respond, you must see yourself as a different person. You must be able to look objectively at who you were and who you are becoming”. Then it hit me…

Because I am no longer part of a couple and the person who was most important to me is gone, I am now on a journey to becoming a different person. But in order for me to become a highly effective individual, I must separate the past person from the future person. Now this past person holds a lot of wonderful memories, so I can not let that person go. That person is a vital part of me, and will always be with me.

I must be able to objectively look at the “2 Me’s”. It is like standing on a cloud and looking down at myself. I am learning to use this exercise to put grief in the right place. The grief belongs to the old me. I realize if I do not take control of the “new” me, the grief will consume me and stifle my future. That is not what my husband would have wanted. His specific instructions to me were “go spread your wings and show the world what you can do”. I can not let the grief identify who I am.

In order to honor his wishes, I absolutely must thrive. It is important for anyone who has lost a spouse to experience grief, but the grief is “not” who you are. It is a part of who you are and it has a place. We have to let go of the old self to mold and create the new person we are about to become.

Wanda Grindstaff is a successful Home Based Business professional as well as a business coach and marketing expert. She has assisted many people in achieving major financial goals and is passionate about showing people how to escape the rat race and lead powerful, self created lives through free enterprise and personal development.
Her vision is to serve others and empower them to have anything they choose and is on a mission to assist 100 millionaires in the next 5 years.